Cat's in the Cradle

Remember the song Cat's in the Cradle, by Harry Chapin? Harry wrote and sang this song for his son, but I think there are parts of the song that transcend gender... especially the part about his child coming home from college. I mention this because I am going through the parental pangs of missing Lindsay, who has been away at school for exactly 10 days. It gets a little easier each day, but the hole in my life is still there. What I never realized, as I prepared myself for her heading off to school in Oregon, was how much I loved sitting and talking to her. Her intelligence and knowledge made that easy... .  I think I took the simple act of "talking" to Lindsay for granted. As I sit around at night, when occassionally I could get her to sit still and talk for a few minutes, I find myself missing those conversations with her, and wanting to call... but knowing that I need to give her the space to be free and on her own.  I am sure she would roll her eyes to hear me say that, and say "awww dad!"
The biggest hole, I have quickly come to realize, is the lack of the sound of music in the house.... singing, to be more specific. You see, ever since Linz was a little girl (I am talking 3 years old), we have been blessed by the sound of her voice echoing throughout the house. Whatever room she was in, there was singing. Whatever task she was performing, there was singing... .
She called the other day while I was at work and I immediatey knew by the joy in her voice what she was about to tell me.. "dad.... I got the part! I am in the show."   It was a call I have received many times at work over the years as she auditioned for her high school plays, went to the call back, and then found out the good news. I love getting those calls. The difference this time is that I would not be able to come home and give her a big congratulations hug... pang times 10.
So, I continue to struggle with my dad emotions, knowing that Linz is going to be great and do great things - I just won't be able to catch her and talk to her about "life" for a few minutes every now and then.